The ideas, dreams, interests, innovations, and self realisations of us all are what guide us all along our own paths in each life we live. It is what gives to our own monotheistic unique spirits of individual self. It is our ID’s, ego’s, subconscious thoughts of freedom of choice, that make us who we are and what we become. Always choose free will!
A famous man once said “the only way to truly see the future is to create it yourself.” So for over 27 years I have done just that. I have created my own world best I felt how for me. I have never conformed or bowed down to all the bad or mishaps in my life. I know that it is expected to have hardship so I may know what good, and deep love really is. There is so many pains and set backs in my past, that I have stopped looking back. I move forward in every positive way open to me and my path. To give into regrets, would surely keep my world dark and grey. I find the light in the littlest things sometimes, just so I don’t have to feel the pain of life at times my energy couldn’t afford to feel it. I have learned love is a powerful tool to move beyond pain and hardships. It is in my world that the light is always my own true guide. If there comes times when I can’t seem to find my way, or can not fully understand the reasons why for what seems to be going wrong, I look to the little things. I find light where I can. Maybe only in thoughts from past things that have given me joy. Maybe it’s just telling me that I am worth being seen and loved. Maybe I just know that life will get better for me soon so I move on biding my time. So no regrets, no wondering why, no wishing I could do it all over again. I learn always, live as well as I can, and love as grandly as I can every chance I get. And so far, so alive!
I am someone who has too many times put himself in some very dangerous situations, in which I barley came away still intact. I have literally died 8 times in this life alone. And every time I came back, I could hear and see so much deeper and stronger then I have since I was born into this universe. What has not left me dead has only made me stronger. There has been such chaos and pain in my world this time that I have wondered how I am still carrying on as I do? So much of the pain I moved beyond and stopped wondering why it all had to be as it was. I just know it was to strengthen and grow me to be me as I must be, in order to help and love all the wonderful souls I have helped along my way.
I have buried both my sons. Never has there been such pain and torture as there is when I stop to think of my sons. I can never touch or feel them again until we meet in the end. I have comfort in knowing all the things I know, and I realise one day we all meet again. I know this better then most people who are like me. Yet there are days I just can’t get my breath in my chest, as I get a thought or I feel them. That is such a hard time to get my head back into focus. I added this of my sons so others may know that I don’t say these things so lightly. It is a fact that I must live with and carry on so I may be all I am for those who need me to be for them. I have never come to the fact of not carrying on. I have never given into the darkness as I could have done and been justified in doing so. I have never stopped being me. I have never stopped believing in love. I just look for ways to love something or someone. I give of myself so that I don’t have to look back and wonder if it all was a waste of time. I know it was all worth it. The pain, the suffering, the fight to keep darkness at bay was all worth it. For it has given me light and love after the darkness was sent away. I have such fond memories and so many wonderful souls that I have touched, and who have touched me. That is a gift we can’t buy, or trade anything to get.
I have found over the lives I have lived, that just being there, listening, caring about another’s words or needs is the most wondrous tool we could have or ever use. Talking, listening, sharing, being solid, constant, and reliable for someone, will allow them to not feel lost, alone, unseen, or worthless. Doing these things for someone in need is the most beautiful and selfless thing to do. And to do this for a complete stranger, family, or friends is giving the greatest gift we could ever give or share. It will be giving them back themselves. By asking or expecting nothing in return from them for this, will hopefully help them know they are worth something to someone. You will have given them the light they have lost. The hope of better days, and worth wild ways. It doesn’t help to be sympathetic sometimes, Or to have pity. It’s just listening to someone and doing your best to be a beacon for their troubled soul. When the time comes and you think you know what needs to be said, don’t. Just listen a moment, and show them you are truly interested in the things they need to say, or the things they feel they have to share with someone. You may find they don’t need answers from you. They just need the support and care. That what they say or share is important to them and all they needed was to let it all out. To many times we think we have the answers or we can fix things for others with our words. When all that was needed, was to just care enough to listen to someone else.
I will leave you with the following, in hopes that it will give help where it’s needed;
I am the nobody you may feel you are at times. I am the nobody who has buried 2 sons too many. I am the nobody who has died only to be revived just to live many years of pain. I am the nobody who knows what it feels like to need someone hear me, feel me, see me for who I truly am. I am the nobody who will always carry on regardless the pain I will endure, or the loneliness I will find embracing me. So in the end , whenever that is?, I will leave this life the same nobody I have always been, except to those who loved me enough to be somebody for them. It’s being that somebody to someone, and the love and time we shared together that will let me go in peace. It gives me a piece of mind knowing that this nobody has been somebody to someone.
I pray with all my energy and will that this will help you all try to be someone for somebody. That you will know being nobody is still being someone. We all have the chance to be as we can be for others. We all have the power to become something more if we just strive in the light, and let go of the dark when it find us. Just love yourself and others best you can. Listen well, see clearly, and do what you can to let others know they are somebody to someone. Even if all you can do is love yourself so you are someone to you.
LIVE WELL, LEARN ALWAYS, AND MOST OF ALL LOVE AS GRANDLY AND BEAUTIFUL AS YOU CAN !
THE MYSTIC PERTHEO
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